大家好，今天我们继续一起来看看“被拒100天”（下）的内容。昨天讲到了蒋甲实践了“100 rejection list”上的第一件事情，即向陌生人借100美元，通过这件事情，他意识到下次再遇到遭遇拒绝的情况，一定不能逃跑，而要留下来继续交涉（stay engaged）。在接下来的演讲中，他又向我们继续描述了他所做的另外五件事，以及这五件事情是如何一步步改变他的。大家可以再次通过视频来回顾一下整个故事。（open.163.com/movie/2017/2/6/B/MC918H30S_MC9VQJL6B.html）

演讲原文（下）

Day Two: request a burger refill. It’s when I went to aburger joint, I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said “Hi,can I get a burger refill?” He was all confused, like “What’s a burger refill?”I said “Well,it’s just like a drink refill but with a burger.” And he said “Sorry,we don’t do burger refill, man.” So this is where rejection happened and I could have run but I stayed. I said “Well, I love your burgers I love your joint and if you guys do burger refill I will love you guys more.” And he said “Well,okay, I’ll tell my manager about it. Maybe we can do it but sorry we can’t do it today.” Then I left. And by the way, I don’t think they’ve ever done burger refill. I think they’re still there. But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there just because I stayed engaged, because I didn’t run. I said “Wow, great, I’m already learning things.” Great!

这一次，蒋甲进步了，再遭遇拒绝后，他不再落荒而逃，而是stay engaged, 这让他克服了第一次那种异常紧张的感觉。（还记得昨天我们学习的有关“紧张”的表达吗？I feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up.）

 And then day three: getting Olympic Doughnuts.This is where my life was turned upside down. I went to a Krispy Kreme. It’s a doughnut shop in mainly the southeastern part of the United States. I’m surethey have some here, too. And I went in and said “Can you make me doughnutsthat look like Olympic symbols? Basically, youinterlinkfive doughnuts together.” I mean there’s no way they could say yes,right? The doughnut maker took me so seriously. So she put out paper, startedjotting downthe colors and the rings and is like “Howcould I make this?” And then 15 minutes later she came out with a box thatlooked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. And I just couldn’t believeit. And that video got five million views on Youtube.The world couldn’t believe that either. You know, because of that I was in newspapers and talk shows, in everything and I became famous. And a lot of people started sendinge-mails to me, saying “what you are doing is awesome.”

第三天，他再次提出了一个看似荒诞的要求，要求做一个五环状的甜甜圈，没想到，这个要求居然被满足，并且彻底改变了他的生活，他出名了。

But you know,fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.What I really wanted to do was learn, and to change myself. So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground,into this research project. I wanted to see what I can learn. And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don’t run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a “no” into a “yes”and the magic word is “why”. So one day I went to a stranger’s house, I had this flower in my hand and I knocked on the door and said “Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?” And he said “No”. But before he could leave I said “Hey, can I know why?” He said “Well, I have this dog that could dig anything I put in my backyard. I don’t want to waste your flower. If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers.” So that’s what I did. I went across and knocked on Connie’s door. And she was so happy to see me. And half an hour later there was this flower in Connie’s backyard. I’m sure it looks better now. But had I left after the initial rejection, I would have thought “Well, it’s because the guy didn’t trust me, it’s because I was crazy, because I didn’t dress up well I didn’t look good.” It was none of those. It was because what I offered did not feed what he wanted. And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, using a salesterm. I converted that referral.

然而，蒋甲想要的不是名气，是改变自己。所以，在他继续尝试的过程中，他发现，当遭遇拒绝时，多问一个“为什么”，就可能改变事情的结果，而不是自己凭空猜测，自我否定。

Then one day I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks and asked the manager “Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?” He was like “What’s a Starbucks greeter?” I said “Do you know those Walmart greeters? You know those people who say ‘hi’ to you before you walk in the store and make sure you don’t steal stuff, basically? I wanna give the Walmart experience to Starbucks customers.” Well, I’m not sure that’s a good thing actually. Actually I’m pretty sure it’s a bad thing. And, he was like “Oh, ”yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric, he was like “I’m not sure.”This is how he was hearing me.“Not sure.” Then I asked him “Is that weird?” He’s like, “Yeah, it’s really weird, man.” But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. It’s as if he’s putting all the doubt on the floor. And he said “Yeah, you can do this and just don’t get too weird.” So for the next hour I was the Starbucks’ greeter. I said “hi” to every customer that walked in and gave them holiday cheers.By the way, I don’t know what your career trajectory is, don’t be a greeter. It was really boring. But then I found I could do this because I mentioned “Is that weird?” I mentioned the doubt that he was having. And because I mentioned “Is that weird?” that means I wasn’t weird. That means I was thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. And again and again I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People would more likely to say yes to me.

这一次，蒋甲发现了如何最大化自己的要求被满足的几率的秘诀：共情能力，及说出对方在听到自己所提出要求时的感受，与对方感同身受，让他感到被理解，这样更容易获得信任，自己的要求也更容易被满足。

And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.You know,I came from four generations of teachers and my grandma has always told me “Hey Jia, you can do anything you want but it’d be great if you became a teacher.” But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn’t. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said “What if I just ask and teach a college class?” I lived in Austin at the time, so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors’ doors and said“Can I teach your class?”I didn’t get anywhere the first couple of times.But because I didn’t run, I kept doing it and on the third try the professor was very impressed. He was like “No one has done this before.”And I came in prepared with the powerpoints and my lesson. He said “Wow, I can use these. Why don’t you come back in two months?I’ll fit you in my curriculum.” And two months later, I was teaching a class. This is me—you probably can’t see, this is a bad picture. You know, sometimes you can get rejected by lighting, you know? But when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, because I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking.

接下来，大胆向教授提出进入大学课堂教授一次课并获得允许的经历使蒋甲突然间明白，原来想要做成一件自己想做又看似不可能的事情，并有想象中的困难，通过大胆提出这个要求就有可能实现，而非一定要万事俱备。

I used to think I have to accomplish all these things. I have to be a great entrepreneur or learn to get a PhD to teach.But no, I just asked and I could teach. And in that picture which you can see,I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. Why? Because in my research I found that people who really changed the world who changed the way we live and the way we think are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections.People like Martin Luther King Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela or even Jesus Christ.These people did not let rejection defined them. They let their own reaction after rejection defined themselves. And they embraced rejection. And we don’t have to be those people to learn about rejection. And in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing them. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I use my blog, I use my talk, I use the book I just published and I’m even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities.Don’t run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.Thank you.

最后，通过“被拒100天”的行动，蒋甲从一个害怕被拒绝的人，变成了一个不再恐惧，并且能够教别人如何克服“被拒绝焦虑症”的人，这使得他出了书，上了电视，并有了自己的科技公司，实现了自己成为一名企业家的梦想。他领悟到，遭遇拒绝，遇到挫折是人生的常态，我们要学会去拥抱它，把它当成生命的馈赠和改变自己的契机，不要逃避，勇敢面对，这样它会变成上天送给自己最的美好礼物。

（华丽丽的分割线）

不知道你是否跟我一样，也是一个害怕大胆提出自己的要求，遇到问题容易逃避的人。如果是，我们一起向蒋甲学习，从大胆提出要求，表达需求开始，学会勇敢面对吧。看完整篇演讲，你能总结出如何让自己的要求被满足的“套路”吗？不妨我们将这个问题作为一个托福口语话题来试着回答看看吧：

Talk about the way of how to make other people accept your request. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer.（45秒内作答）

感兴趣的童鞋可以加微信号：linjingya，备注ted，将回答以语音的形式发给我，共同探讨学习。（非诚勿扰）答案明天揭晓。

现在来为大家揭晓昨天文章最后留给大家的问题，如下：

现在，来为大家揭晓这个问题的神秘面纱，一睹其芳容：

“could have done” 为虚拟语气的句型之一，虚拟语气，顾名思义，“虚”即“假”的意思，用于描述与客观事实相反的句子中。所以“could have done”的中文意思是“本可以做......(而实际上却没有做)”。回到这篇演讲的语境中，蒋甲向那个看起来凶神恶煞（menacing）的保安借100美元，在遭到拒绝后落荒而逃，而实际上保安问他“why”,给了他解释的机会，他没有抓住，所以他才会说“I could’ve said many things. I could’ve explained. I could’ve negotiated”（我本来可以多说一些的，我本来可以解释的，我本来可以跟他谈判的），而实际上他却跑了，没有这样做。通过这个句型，相信大家也能感受到他当时的悔意。

好啦，讲解结束，最后，想要演讲音频的朋友，可以在喜马拉雅上关注“雅ljy”,也可以在喜马拉雅上直接搜索“被拒100天”，有原版的演讲音频。由于篇幅原因，预计今天的单词和句型讲解环节，我会一并放到明天的文章中来为大家解答，so guys, see you tomorrow,咱们明天再见喔~O(∩_∩)O~