Are you the parent of a teenager and struggling to communicate with them? They say that the teenage years are very much like the terrible twos, and in many ways, that is a correct analogy. Consider this: toddlers begin to assert their independence and desire to do things independently. They become frustrated when we offer help or when they encounter difficulties doing tasks themselves. Teenagers follow a similar pattern. They begin to distance themselves from us as they strive for independence and seek their place in society. However, they also become frustrated when we attempt to intervene or when they face challenges.
What can we as parents do to communicate with them without pushing them away?
🗣️Active Listening is the Key: Teenagers can sometimes be very egocentric, so it is important that when they talk to us, we listen actively while giving them our full attention.
🗣️Set Clear Boundaries but Be Reasonable: Like all children, teenagers will continue to test their boundaries, so it is important that we still have rules in place. However, it is also important that the rules are reasonable so that they feel that they have some form of independence.
🗣️Tone of Voice: It is not always about what we say to our children but how we say it. Our tone of voice is very important. If we come across as aggressive or confrontational, then our children most certainly will not want to talk to us. A calm and supportive tone and open body language are the key to effective communication.
🗣️Be a Role Model: Children will look up to us, no matter how young or old. Show them respect, honesty, and calmness. That way, you are leading by example.
🗣️Give Them Space, Too: Like any person, we all need our space. As a parent, you will need to learn when to give your teenager some space, but it is still important that they know that you are available whenever they need your help or guidance.
🗣️Praise Them: If you think praising your child only when they were young was important, think again! As mentioned earlier, teenagers can be very self-centred, and praising them will greatly boost their self-esteem.
🗣️Find a Connection: Sometimes, it can be hard to communicate with other people. Doing things together can help with any communication barriers. Find things you both enjoy, such as shopping, cooking, board games, etc.
🗣️Make Mealtimes Family Time: Sitting together during mealtimes is a great way to talk about general things such as television programs, sports, and more. The point is that you want to make conversations easier between you and your teenager, so talking about harder things will become easier if you can talk casually about everyday things.
🗣️Patience is a Virtue: We are all human, and sometimes we want answers or results immediately, but we must remain patient with our children. Let them express their emotions (it is better to get it out than to keep it in) and avoid criticising their thoughts.
🗣️ Think Back to Your Teenage Years: Do you remember what it was like being a teenager and the challenges you faced? Try to empathise with your child and support them without being dominating.
These are just a few examples of how you can communicate and connect with your teenager. Nobody said raising a teenager would be easy, but keep reminding yourself that if you can get through the terrible twos, you will also get through the teenage years!
