死党林夕姑娘自本科毕业开始，便在一家公立幼儿园当了幼师。每天朋友圈都是各种宝宝的萌照，一直以为幼师便是这世上最单纯最美好的工作。哪成想她自己用一句话概括了这些年当幼师的感受，竟然是：
A close friend of mine, named Zoe, became a nursery teacher since she graduated from university. Seeing her posting photos of adorable kids with warm smiles, I believed that nursery teacher must be the very job that makes you happy and positive everyday. However, when asked how she would summerize her experience and feelings as a nursery teacher, she said:
这世上最不公平的事就是生了孩子，就自动升级为父母。凭什么！
The most unfair thing in this world would be that after giving birth to a baby, anyone can become a parent automatically.
听后甚为差异，便不停的追问。林夕姑娘一改往日嘻嘻哈哈的作风，义正言辞的说：
Shocked by her words, I kept asking the reasons behind this unexpected answer. Instead of answering my questions directly, she asked me serval questions:
身为孩子的第一任老师，你受过训练吗？你有这方面知识吗？你知道怎么跟孩子相处吗？你了解孩子们的心里吗？你知道他们的生理和心里发育规律及怎么应对吗？你知道不恰当语言对他们伤害多大吗？你真的了解他们的感受吗?
We all know that parents are the very first teachers to newly-borned ones, but have they been trained to be a proper teacher? Do they have professional knowledge of how to getting along with children? Do they know anything about psychology? Do they have any idea of the critical points of a child's growth process and how to deal with them? Do they know clearly how much children could be hurt by unproperiate words?Have they ever tried to understand children's feeling?
我被问的呆住了，一个字都回答不出来。或许我还可以以年龄小，尚未为人父母做托词，回应说以后会学的。那么已经为人父为人母的你们呢？
I did not expect any of these questions and can not say anything but stay shocked. Well, I could still say that I am too young to think about things like that, but what about you guys? You have being a parent for quite a long time, but have you ever thought about these questions?
午餐时候跟同事聊天，经常听到类似“我以前对我家老大xxx，现在知道了那样不行啊。现在对小的不会再那样了。”听了只觉得，老大好可怜，完全就是个试验品。妈妈在她长大的过程中学会了当妈妈，但是她呢？幼时该得到的理解和关爱要找谁弥补，又能怎样弥补呢？
During the lunch time, I always heard my colleages saying things like "I have done xxx things to my older child which I am now really regret. I am definitely not gonna do those to my little one." OMG, how poor the older one is! Is it even fare to use your first child as an experiment and learn the right way of getting along with child? How and who can make up for the older one?
《如何说，孩子才会听。怎么听，孩子才肯说》
<How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk>
听这名字，第一感觉是：呵呵哒，又一本心灵鸡汤吧。哪知道这随手一翻，竟然一口气读完了。2017读书单上根本没有它，却成了第一本读完，并无比兴庆在为人母之前就读过的书。
At the first glance, I thought it is nothing but a useless book with a beatiful name. To my surprise, I was totally attracted by its content and finished the whole book.
“我们可以结束和孩子的冲突了！“ 是本书的口号，亦是目标。作者阿黛尔·法伯、伊莱恩·玛兹丽施均为杰出教育专家。本书有着”美国家庭教育十大畅销书之一，销售300多万册，被译为30多种文字风靡全球。长踞美国畅销书排行榜，出版20多年长销不衰“的漂亮头衔，而事实证明，它绝对对得起这些头衔。
Naitonal Bestseller, more than 3 million copies sold, the parenting bible. These are just a few titles this book received and it has proved that it deserves.
在最开始，作者贴心的附上了”如何阅读本书”，并建议读者先通过漫画对全书有一个大致的了解。我也是按照他们的建议去做的，不出一会儿便被深深吸引。图画画的没什么出彩，却能用简短的文字生动的表述出她们的观点。
At the beginning of the book, authors suggested the way that they believed is approperiate for reading the book--- getting a rough idea about the book by looking at the illustrations. I did follow their suggestion and it turned out that, with just a few words for each illustration, it is really attractive.
“天呢，这个我从没想过” “这个好有道理啊”贯穿了我的整个阅读过程。随意举个例子，各位家长可曾想过，孩子们的感受和他们行为之间的关系？你有试着了解和换位思考过他们的感受吗？为什么孩子越发不想跟你交流，真的是长大了就不爱跟父母聊天了这么简单？
"wow, I have never thought about this." "yes, it does make sense." these kind of feelings appeared from time to time during the whole reading process. I will just give you guys several easy examples: have you ever thought about the relation between a kid's action and his feeling? why your kid does not want to have a deep conversation with you anymore? Is it just that as they becoming older, they simply do not want to share their thought with you?
这些问题书中并没有一笔一划给你写出答案，而是通过多年两位作者所见所闻，列举真实案例，经过专业分析思考并验证后，把不同处理方式处理的结果告诉你。毕竟，相处时需要技巧，更需要时间。每个孩子都有着自己独特的性格，相处方式自然不能完全一样，这需要父母针对自己孩子的特性，结合理论与实践摸索出最恰当的相处方式。
well, there are no direct answers to these questions in the book. After all, every kid is unique and the parent should combine professional theories and reality together to find the most approperiate way for your kid. But, it does list many cases they got from parents during their career and these cases do provoke your thought, very deeply.
或许你会质疑因文化差异带来的相处差异，进而认为老美所提供的相处技巧不适用于中国孩子。但是亲爱的父母，无论是中国还是外国，与孩子相处最重要也是通用的一点请不要忘记，平等互爱、互相尊重。更何况，无论身处地球的哪个角落，无论肤色与人种，父母们都在尽最大的努力，把最美好的给孩子。既然如此，那么所谓的文化差异便会无限缩小，微乎其微。
You may say that culture difference will cause huge differences between the way to get along, and believed suggestions raised by US people are not suitable for Chinese children. However, what you should always remember is the basic rule of getting along: being equal and respective, even if and especially when you are the parent. Also, parents, regardless of the country they come from and races, have one huge thing in common : they all try their best and are devoted to give the best to their children. Because of this, the culture difference is so tiny that can be neglacted when talking about how to love your child.
不要再将自动升级为父母作为理所当然，读完此书你会猛然发现，你所认为的理所当然，真的很可笑。请用正确的方式爱孩子！
Please, do not treat becoming parents after giving birth to your baby as natural. Cuz here, natural shares the same meaning as rediculous! Please rethink about your reaction and use the appropriate way to treat your child and show your love to them.
此书已翻译成了20多种语言，在读完中文翻译版后，我又阅读了英文原版。虽然中文翻译的已近乎完美，作者的精髓液都保留了下来。但不得不说，原版依旧完胜，在语言、情绪和信息传达方面，都完胜。有能力阅读英语的家长，斯诺姑娘强烈建议读原版，可以慢慢读，慢慢品。
另外，欢迎家长朋友与斯诺一起阅读并讨论此书。
老规矩，本文的中英文依旧由斯诺姑娘独自撰写及翻译。有不妥之处欢迎指正。
