Dear John!
As you know, I'm a little bit busy due to being in Germany so I'm very sorry for replying to you so late. But now I have some spare time to reply to you. Today I'm not going to correct the mistakes, but just reply to your message and share my opinion with you. I'm a little bit drunken, so it's going straight from my heart and I hope these words can influence you to some extent.
Of course I also had dreams! And I still do! They've changed with my age, it happens to everyone, it is our human nature. When we are young we think we can be the kings of the world, but then gradually we get more and more realistic.
You've said you feel ordinary... It's normal to feel like that in modern times. The TV shows, internet all show us beautiful and successful people which makes us feel depressed and lowers our self-esteem. But most of these things is a lie! These people don't look like that, they are enchanced by computers. Do you think that your friends who post photos of how happy they are, how many great things they have and how many places they visit are really happy? People who post the most on social medias and want to look there as happy are the saddest ones in real life, it's like a scream for attention. Their happy life is an illusion. It's the same with all the things we see in the TV or internet, things are not as colorful as they may seem. The best way is no to care about other people and don't believe it fully. It's better for your own feeling!
Why do you claim you're not intelligent? I don't know you super-well, after all, we know each other for not even one year, but I can judge that you are pretty clever! You've already finished University, that makes you smarter than most of people on this planet. And college degree is not everything. There are many so called scholars and scientist, who use difficult words to appear smart or intelligent while in real they don't have anything worthy to say nor they are very intelligent!
About the good background... Well, life is not fair, I also don't come from a super-rich family or something like that, but we can cry and moan about it, or do everything in our strength to improve our own lifestyles and make it easier for our future kids! I know it's difficult, but it's better than giving up!
Extraordinary talent? While some people are truly gifted, in most cases it's HARD WORK winning over talent! If a person is very talented but he or she doesn't work hard, it's worthless! I remember Cristiano Ronaldo, he wasn't so good when he has started his career (and his background wasn't too good also!) but due to big amounts of training and hard work he became the best in the world! Remember, hard work BEATS talent!
I don't want to picture myself in 10 years, after all we can't even guess how tomorrow is goind to look like. What matters is present... NOW!
Of course sometimes I have bad moments and question why such things happen to me, why I was ever born! Most of humans do! It's part of our existence. It is sad, but we have that will for survival that keeps us going.
The fact you're different from the others (or at least you feel like that) is not a bad thing, I will use this quote "They laugh me, because I'm different... I laugh at them, because they all are the same!".
How can you say that you will be a bachelor in 10-20 years? The fact you're not going out with 10 different girls every week makes me think good of you, that you value yourself and don't just care about trivial things like sex! You never know when you will meet the one for you! Of course you have to help fate a little bit, you probably will never find anyone if you don't have courage to talk to girls (that's how it works, we, men, have it more difficult, we have to do the first step!). I've seen your photo, and sometimes we talk, I see absolutely no reason why you couldn't find a girl! But if you don't try, you will never know! In life we can only make two decisions, TO DO or NOT TO DO! If you always choose NOT TO DO, you can only wonder what would happen!
Most of people have troubled minds, believe me. I may not seem like that, but I really have my super-bad moments. Like most of people do.
And don't we all play secondary role in this life? After all, we are all going to die! And death doesn't care if a person is a janitor or a president! We are all equal when the grim reaper will come for us! All we can do is be a good people and take the most out of this life!
Also, I guess this book http://www.pharmanewsonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/How-to-Talk-to-Anyone-92-Little-Tricks-for-Big-Success-in-.pdf could help you! I didn't read it YET, but my friend said it's fantastic when it comes to talking to people, try it.
All the best and keep your head high!
Lukas