这是只有一个老师和一个学生的课堂。曾经的师生十六年后再续前缘,相约在每个星期二上一次课。老师就在他生命最后的日子里指导学生做了一篇论文。这篇论文也就是这本书,主题就是人生。老师的名字叫Morrie。
When talking about the world, Morrie said,“Do you think because I’m dying, I shouldn’t care what happens in this world?”
这让我想起了中国的一句古语:两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书。而自己虽最终也没读多少圣贤书,但却是习得了“不闻窗外事”。虽每天看似忙忙碌碌地经营着自己的一亩三分地,但心胸越来越狭窄,目光越来越短浅,感情越来越迟钝。好好想想这个词,world。
When talking about feeling sorry for oneself, Morrie said, “I give a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life……I don’t allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that’s all.”
生活中,常常会因为一些无聊的琐事而陷入self-pity的泥沼中,为什么我这么倒霉,为什么我这么悲摧?可这既不能解决任何问题,又会给自己和别人带来很多负面情绪的影响。最有资格self-pity的人都没有这么做,所以,还是省省吧。
When talking about death, Morrie said, “Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
每个人都会死,但是在死亡真正到来的那一刻之前,每个人都不相信自己会死。我们为“更好的活着”而拼命争取的那些东西,比如更大的房子,比如更靓的车子,在死亡面前价值几何呢?怎样才是“更好的活着”?
When talking about the fear of aging,Morrie said, “Aging is not just decay, you know. It’s growth.”
三十岁之前,从来不害怕自己会变老,甚至从来不相信自己会变老。可是过了三十这个坎儿,好像坎儿越来越多,三十一,三十二,三十三,三十四……每年一道坎儿。于是常常照着镜子悲叹,叹岁月如梭,叹年华易逝。如果之前的年岁增长是decay的话,之后的日子一定要努力让它变成growth。
When talking about money, Morrie said, “There’s a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need……You don’t need the latest sports car. You don’t need the biggest house.”
在这个消费主义不断膨胀的年代,心里的草也是越长越多,越长越快。常常旧草还未来得及拔除,新草又茁壮地长了出来。这是个物欲横流的世界,我们,是不是早已经被卷入其中?
When talking about how love goes on, the author wrote: When Morrie was with you, he was really with you.
跟朋友聚会的时候拿着手机刷微博,我有过;陪父母聊天的时候满脑子想着未完成的工作,我有过;辅导孩子作业的时候手上拿着份报纸,我有过;爱人倾诉的时候还在想着明天要出去扫货,我也有过。“人在心在”,看似简单的四个字,要做到的话怎么会那么难呢?
When talking about marriage, Morrie said, “If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lotof trouble. Your values must be alike……And the biggest one of those values,your belief in the importance of your marriage.”
互相尊重,学会妥协,开诚布公,有相同的价值观,这是稳固婚姻的重要元素。而相同价值观里的最重要一点,就是二人都要相信这个婚姻很重要。这对于我这个没有任何信仰的人真是当头棒喝,从此后再也不会吵架时动不动就提“离婚”。
When talking about culture, Morrie said, “……building your own little subculture……The little things, I can obey. But the bigthings----how we think, what we value----those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone----or any society---- determine those for you.”
Morrie 还说,女人要瘦,男人要有钱,这都是这个社会的文化要你相信的东西。但是,不要相信。你有自己的subculture吗?
Morrie 还说了很多,我这个愚钝的读者还需要慢慢消化。而读完了这本书时,我久久不愿合上,他的谆谆教诲还没有听够,而且还有那么多疑问希望他来解答。可是善解人意的Morrie在书的最后告诉了我们怎样说
good-bye。