Not Giving a Fuck - CH7

一. 问答

1. How would you define "failure"?

Failure means, you failed to achieve the intended purpose.

2. How failures could be a blessing in disguise? Please include a story of yours.

When I was a senior in college, I got a chance to send a graduate student. Later on, I was disqualified, only because my English scores did not meet the requirements. However, I found a job that I really liked and met a super reliable boss who taught me a lot. I had been working on it for seven years, so that I benefited a lot from it. This experience is definitely a blessing in disguise.

3. Who/What made us tend to avoid failure?

Our education system and our overbearing or critical parents made us tend to avoid failure. Because they punish those who don't do well or screw up something or try anything new.

4.  Do you have any "VCR questions"? And what are they?

Yes, of course. Some of my VCR questions are:

(1) How do I talk to foreigners after the conventional greeting? 

(2) How to keep in touch with my friends when both of us go farther and farther?

(3) How to read an article fluently, in which all of words are composed of capital letters? I know I should read them more, but I have a headache whenever I see them. I have to spell every words letter by letter.

5. Have you done "do something" recently?  or are you going to do some "do something"?

Yes, I've started to practice the public speech in order to learn how to speak naturally on the stage. I need to master this skill well, because I'm a marketing manager now. 


二. 感想

很多时候,痛苦都是前进道路上最大的动力。

Fear and anxiety and sadness are not necessarily always undesirable or unhelpful states of mind; rather, they are often representative of the necessary pain of psychological growth.

Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments.

It's only when we feel intense pain that we're willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be failing us.

想想看,我们得意时,多半实在享受或休息;可痛苦、焦虑或恐惧时,却往往在努力尝试改变。

因此负面情绪看起来更能激发斗志。前提是,我们知道该如何看待和疏导这些负面情绪,让它们转化为动力而不是羁绊。

你可以不服输。暗暗地憋一股劲儿,发誓要跨越障碍。冷静下来,能够看清自己的差距;坚持努力,进而一步步达成目标。

也可以不在意。事已至此,何必再纠结其中,给自己添堵呢?向前看,用有效的办法去解决问题。将负面情绪抛之脑后,不被束缚,放手去搏。

其实,正因为焦虑和恐惧,才更加踏实地去努力。用收获来证明,其实这根本不值得担心,也不必害怕,你可以的。

只是千万不要只胡思乱想,却啥也不做。因为连犯错都是在前进。

Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you've failed at something.

If someone is better than you at something, then it's likely because she has failed at it more than you have. If someone is worse than you, it's likely because he hasn't been through all of the painful learning experiences you have.

Just shut up and do it.

Don't just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.

With simply doing something as your only metric for success - well, then even failure pushes you forward.

无论是工作还是学习,我都曾经历过“无论怎么努力都毫无成就感”的阶段。因此我不断地问自己:为什么我总在犯错?为什么我技不如人?我如此尽力而为地想得到一个“完美”的结果,可怎么总不如意?究竟是什么让我如此失落?

有一天,我忽然灵光一现:这就对了啊!只要做事,怎么可能一切万全呢?犯错不是很正常吗?考虑不周很可能是因为经验不足或者有自己的思维盲区。吃一堑、长一智,用心反思和总结,下次就可以避免类似的问题了。别人比我强,也许就是因为我目前经历的艰难,他早已经历过了。

此外,不要太过刻意地追求一件事儿、一个结果,这很容易让我们的努力变形、用力过猛、注意力偏移,往往适得其反。

有些时候,结果很重要。无论是学习成绩、工作业绩还是其他的什么,结果都能在很大程度上说明问题,从而得到更多的机会。可更多情况下,过程同样甚至更为重要。因为没了真实的过程,结果无从而来。

在《士兵突击》的故事里,袁朗对成才说:“那你的努力是为了什么?为一个结果虚耗人生?……我无法只看你们的表现,我更看重的是人。”

我曾经无数次地设想过,在进入老A的严酷选拔中,许三多拖着受伤的伍六一缓慢爬向终点。如果六一没有弃权,如果三多没进前三,他还会进入老A吗?一定会的!

所以,尽快抛弃那些“花架子”和“假招子”吧,真实地努力,坦然地接受。不必觉得“冤”,一切结果都有缘由,一切努力都不会白费。既然想做,就去做吧,享受其中就好了。


三. 字词

1. crumple up

(1) 原文:Picasso finished his coffee and crumpled up the napkin to throw away as he left.

(2) 解释:(使)皱、扭曲

(3) 造句:I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the wastepaper basket.

2. tangible goal

(1) 原文:Shitty values, as we saw in chapter 4, involve tangible external goals outside of our control.

(2) 解释:明确的目标

(3) 造句:Have a tangible goal before doing something.

3. ongoing

(1) 原文:The value is an ongoing, lifelong process that defies completion.

(2) 解释:continuing to develop

(3) 造句:I ongoing search for a better solution.

4. traumatic experience

(1) 原文:How they'd coped with traumatic experiences in the war.

(2) 解释:痛苦难忘的经历

(3) 造句:It was a traumatic experience in his childhood.

5. resilient

(1) 原文:Our pain often makes us stronger, more resilient, more grounded.

(2) 解释:适应力强的,可以和tough一起记。名词是resilience,适应能力。

(3) 造句:He proved remarkably resilient during the frustration.

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