Mother is the most important person in one’s life and so is in mine. She sacrifices all she has for the family, not just money, but her entire life. I am always grateful for my mother, but I never had a chance to thank her.
My mother is a quiet and hardworking woman. At the age of 50, she got her driver's license so that she can visit my grandparents more often and take care of them. She didn't talk much, all she had to say during my childhood was "take care of yourself when I'm away". She is selfless and will pay every penny only to get me to the best school, to learn painting lessons, or to buy the most up-to-date backpack. She taught me everything. She raised me as an independent girl.
Things changed a bit when I had to leave her for college. Every week, on our routine call, she's the one that started the conversation. Mostly, she complained. She complained a lot, from the smallest things to issues with every family member. I was so surprised that she could talk and talk for so long till my phone got hot.
At first, I was glad that someone could hear her out. So I listened, and I tried to comfort her, to distract her from the daily chores. However, she's too tired trying to take care of everyone else. She had no time of her own.
Sooner I got frustrated. I knew every word she was about to say. But I was too far away from home there's nothing I could do to help her. So I started to make excuses, about being busy with my school work and hang up before she had to say anything. I even blamed her sometimes for giving me so much negative energy.
So she went back to silence again.
As I grew older, I started to realize, who will hear her out other than her own daughter. So I asked her about that usual time. She told me that she had a hard time experiencing menopause and didn't know how to cope with it. Besides, she was trying to find every topic she knew to communicate with me, to feel more connected when I was away.
Hearing this, I was so shocked. Mom, I really regret what I had done or said at that time. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings, for trying to cut you out of my life. If I could go back through time, I would tell you that it's ok if you couldn't please everyone. It's ok to be upset and to have your own emotions. And thanks for trusting me and expressing your feelings to me. I was never away and I would always return back to you.
I didn't know the meaning a mother until I became a mother of my own child. All those clichés, those things you hear about being a mother, are true. You will be your children's rock, their pillars of strength, and their whole world.
Mothers are amazing. And I will always love you, my dearest mom.
