All these words about some people that I made acquaintances with but only have a shallow understanding of are the attempts of leisure time. The place where they are supposed to go, is of coursethe dustbin. But it has given pleasure to some friends and it is them whoencouraged me to bind these articles together and have them published.
I have the least intention to offend othersand hope no one will be offended. However, it is likely some will feel thedescription about them undesirable. If so, I have to beg their pardon.
I want to thank Mr. Kwei Chungshu, chiefeditor ofThe China Critic. Withouthis generous help I wouldn’t be able to use these articles first published asIntimate Portraits.
和原文比较后：
1.“偶然相识、难以深知”。我的译文未体现出偶然，原文用happen to know；“难以深知”强调结果而非状态，因此原文用了imperfect understanding，我用shallow形容。仔细体味两词含义后，imperfect是指因条件限制未能深入理解某人，shallow是指（of a person, idea, comment, ect）not showing serious thought, feelings, etc about sth，贬义。这里温源宁没有一丝贬低文中所提人物之意，因此shallow很不合适，以后要十分注意使用的场合。
2.开头温用these attempts at + n.比我用的all these words不仅少一词，更简洁，而且用抽象词，段数更高；attempts又可指代多种行为。
3.比较leisure time和idle moments：首先，moments比time更具体形象（分场合考虑用抽象还是具体名词），其次leisure意为opportunity to do sth（at one’s leisure）& time at one’s disposal；idle意为empty, void; vain; worthless, useless; not employed。这里取idle中not employed之意，表明作者写此作品是在闲暇。此外，free，spare，皆有此意。
4.Their proper place不就等于the place where they are supposed to go吗！以后要特别注意词汇与意思的一一对应。能用一个词，不用一句话。
5.废纸篓，wastepaper basket。Dustbin是垃圾箱，二者不一样。我开始用的litter bin，查牛津字典有此用法。Litter（mass n.）指rubbishsuch as paper, tins, bottles left lying in an open or public place，作者写作的地方应是私人住所，所写文章也不是无人看管，因此这词不恰当。另外，注意以下区分：waste:materials that are no longer needed and are thrown away; garbage(esp. AmE): waste, especially food and other wet material; rubbish(esp. BrE): waste, especially paper, cardboard, and other dry material that isthrown away by individual people and households.
6.经某人撺掇做某事：温氏表达更简洁，at latter’s instance，重点在我从没遇过 此用法的instance。查词源，14世纪出现，从古法语和拉丁语中来，意为eagerness, urgency；presence, effort intention，正和由友人撺掇要出版此书，且暗含热情的、急切的心情。相比之下，我用的encourage直白、无趣，弱爆了！另外，注意latter的指代作用。
7.不熟悉的词一定要查用法，如bind。查牛津在线词典，bind做动词有9个词意，名词有4个。V.第5条，fix together and enclose (the pages of a book) in a cover，例句: The pages then were passed on to the next artist who worked on them and participants didn’t see their work until the finished pages were bound into book.这里的bind是把印刷好的书页合起来装订成一本书的意思，而非抽象的写文章然后集成一本书。因此，这词用在这里错了。温氏用been brought together in book form，准确简洁地概括了此书是由已写好的一篇篇文章组成。
8.第一次读到小启第二段时就对第一句印象深刻。学英语这么久，我从未想过名人名言可活用，我以为定了就是定了，以后就按约定俗成的用法不搞错就行，可温先生让我看到积极地运用英语的态度是怎样的。从“有志者事竟成”化为I hope where no offence is meant, none will be offended。多简洁明了！还让人眼前一亮！
9.“可能会有一位两位对有关于他们的笔墨感到不悦”，我少了one or two，要注意不能掉细节。温氏用may object to some of the things I have said about them，我用find the description undesirable。这里的动词object指to bring forward to opposition，提出反对意见，形象有力，说明此书出版前温氏已预料会有反对之声，序言里也提到很有一些人不满自己得到的评价。我用undesirable，形容词，形容被评价人的心情，而为强调他们的动作，但从江枫先生的译笔再翻译成英文，不受译笔影响有点难，需注意。
10.同样问题。根据江译“就只好请他们原谅了”，我在beg their pardon前加了have to，原文没有。仔细体会，温氏原文是堂堂正正为此书出版后可能引起的言语纠纷、情感上海负责，因为这是出自温氏本心的言论。根据译笔翻回英文，加了haveto，感觉是不得不要请求原谅，负责之意、诚实之气全失。
11.“感谢某人”，温氏用my thanks are due to，强调客观上这个人确实给予了帮助，致谢理所应当。我用的I want to thank …平凡到可忽略。
12.“慨允”，温氏用his kindness in allowing me to …，我用generous help。慷慨的允诺和慷慨的帮助不一样。我想过用allowance，但一是没想到配套的好词，二是此词也有“津贴”之意，怕乱用。
13.最后一句要根据江译译出原文有点困难，因此我苦恼了一会后只能选择最简单的词语表达句意。把散落的文章集结出版，英文里要用到reprint，强调出版中有“重印”这一步骤。“首次发表”，我用first published，温氏用first saw the light，不得不再一次甘拜下风，他的词就是我想找的词。不仅地道，且显示出“首次”。我可以想象作者打好腹稿落笔成文，修改又修改后交由报社发表，文章终于得见阳光的过程。此短语用在这里准确，精彩。
14.散文类的文学作品，有更多微妙之处要揣摩，对词汇量、文体、译者的感受能力、中文的遣词造句能力要求更高，更难，但也更有趣。知不足然后学嘛！
This 2nd of June, 2015
