20190301晚上10点20分，11分钟，老师《21天提升幸福感正念冥想疗愈》第十九课- 不要让自己变得太重要
冥想前
早上6点半起来和先生一块去北大医院体检，按着医院同学和赖老师说的项目通通检查一遍，两个人5000多，还没做过这么贵的检查呢！检查了也总算是安心了！体检中心软硬件都不错和几年前变化好大了，现在医院的服务也提升了，点个赞！
下午回来直接去儿子幼儿园做义工，老师也没告诉我们要做些什么，后来我主动问，老师说就是在大门口看来接孩子的家长有没打卡，没打卡的要签名。老师交给的工作是要认真完成的，虽然觉得这签名没啥意义，我们在那看着也没啥作用，就想着这样没什么意义的事为什么学校要安排家长来，有些家长还要请假过来，又不好直接问老师，便就这样继续着了，不知道其他家长怎么想。前两天和先生商量好，要9点半上床，10点全家一起睡觉，可是我舞蹈课结束到家都9点40了，没洗澡，没写日记，这时间真的太不够用了，得精简！
冥想后You know the feeling – suddenly you feel you have taken on too many responsibilities and you feel burdened and even exhausted. There is no time for yourself. No time for you to enjoy life. And you wonder – how did this happen?I am going to be brutally honest with you – and you may not like the answer. But here it is anyway.This happened because you made yourself too important!Unconsciously you decided that you know better than others, or you can do things better than they can, and so you took over responsibility for part of their lives. Of course you thought you were helping them, and maybe you felt some sense of duty or responsibility towards them.And you never stopped to think that actually it is a bit insulting to other people when you start taking responsibility for part of their lives! Your intentions were good, but did you ever stop to consider what happens to other peoples’ dignity when you start making decisions for them? On the surface, and in the beginning, maybe they are happy that you take over some of their responsibilities. But underneath, and after a while, they will start to resent you, and even complain, and start demanding more. And more…And you will not understand why they are so angry with you. Why are they not grateful?The reason is because you have taken away their pride and dignity. When you take on responsibilities for others, you make yourself bigger than them, more important than them. And unconsciously this makes them feel smaller and inferior to you. Even if they are not aware of it. And of course unconsciously they will resent that. And they will try and put you back in your place, maybe by complaining, or asking for more, or by being angry with you.Have you noticed that?Today’s technique is an ancient Tibetan Buddhist technique to help you have a different perspective. It is especially useful for those of us who feel too important, ho feel as if the world will go into holding moment if we slow down or stop being busy constantly doing things.It may come as a bit of a shock in the beginning, but stay with it and see what happens…HOMEWORKTake some time to look and see where you are making other people dependent on you by taking on too much responsibility for them. Of course I am not talking about your children. I am talking about your parents or other relatives, or people at your work. Or friends.Wherever you notice that you have been taking on some responsibility for them, take some time to put yourself in their shoes. How do you think they feel that you are acting as if you are better then them? Do you think they feel respected by you? Do you think they feel appreciated by you? Do you think they feel important in your eyes?Be honest with yourself.And just see if there are some responsibilities that you can give back to them, telling them that actually, they can do a better job than you. Or perhaps you can ask them to do something for you instead. Try this and see what changes in the dynamic between you.
