It's so crazy. |
真是疯狂 |
It's like, right now, it just feels like |
就好像 此刻 感觉像是 |
50th birthday parties, |
五十岁的生日派对 |
gay weddings, and funerals. |
同志结婚的欢乐 葬礼的悲伤夹在一起 |
I mean... |
我是说 |
I used to think the scary part about getting older was dying, |
我以前觉得人老后最可怕的是死亡 |
and it turns out that the scary part of getting older |
如今发现 人老后最可怕的是 |
is young people. |
年经人 |
It's like we're the Indians, |
就好像我们是印第安人 |
and they're the white settlers, |
而他们是白人殖民者 |
and they keep coming and they take all our resources, |
他们不断入侵 夺走我们的所有资源 |
and all we're left with is diseased blankets. |
给我们留下的只有沾满病菌的毯子 |
I'm afraid of dying. |
其实我很怕死 |
You are? |
真的吗 |
Have another Ruby Red, Ed. |
再来喝一杯酒 |
Yes, Pats. |
好啊 |
Honey... |
宝贝 |
you need to start writing. |
你得开始写了 |
When are you gonna write a book? |
你什么时候才能写出一本书吶 |
I know. I got a hundred things I have to do. |
可是我有千万项事情等着做 |
I have to hurry up and get gay married |
我得赶紧地让基佬们结婚 |
so I can get gay divorced and then gay retire. |
然后让他们离婚 让他们退休 |
I want to get gay married. |
我也想像基佬一样开开心心的结婚 |
You are... to me. |
你可以啊 嫁我的话 |
Let me have a cigarette. |
给我根烟抽吧 |
Being bad. |
要变坏男孩了 |
Come on, I wanna see. |
来嘛 让我看看 |
No, Mom. |
不行 妈妈 |
- Did you like it?- No. |
- 你喜欢吗- 不喜欢 |
Wait, can I have it, since you don't like it? |
等等 既然你不喜欢的话那能给我吗 |
No! |
不行 |
- Uh! - God! |
天呐 |
Come on, Max, I wanna see. |
来嘛 麦克斯 让我看看 |
I'm trying it! Stop knocking. |
我在试穿呢 别敲了 |
Hey, Siri, what's the difference between |
Siri 白人的负担跟黑人的负担 |
the white man's burden and the black man's burden? |
有什么区别 |
Here's what I found on the Web for |
这是我在网上找到 |
what's the difference between |
关于白人负担 |
the white man's burden and the black man's burden. |
跟黑人负担的区别 |
Max, come on, already. I wanna see. |
麦克斯 赶紧出来 让我看看 |
It's fine. You don't need to see, you just need to buy it. |
挺好的 你不用看 你只管付钱就好了 |
it is so sweet that you have three girls. |
你有三个女儿可真是甜蜜 |
- Angels. - Thank you. |
- 小天使们- 谢谢 |
You're welcome. |
不客气 |
Fake. Fake. |
有够假 |
完整版请点击 |
|
Ladies, please enjoy the course. |
女士们 请用餐 |
Thank you, Chef Daria. |
谢谢你 达莉亚大厨 |
Very nice. Very, very young. |
非常棒 还非常年轻 |
Not illegal. |
并不违法 |
Really cute. |
真的很可爱 |
Joy, smell this. |
乔伊 闻闻这个 |
Yeah, it's great. |
是的 棒极了 |
No, it's okay. Get in there. |
不 没关系 快来闻 |
It's fine. |
你闻就好 |
I can't really smell things. |
我真的没法闻到 |
Sam, she has allergies. |
萨姆 她对东西过敏 |
No, it's from my brain surgery. |
不 是我做脑部手术的后遗症 |
Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I forgot. |
该死 对不起 我忘了 |
Yeah. |
是啊 |
I'm sorry, you had brain surgery?. |
对不起 你做过脑部手术 |
Yes, she had brain surgery. |
是的 她做过脑部手术 |
I mean, they cut her head open, |
她的脑袋被切开 |
and she was at work, like, a month later. |
但她一个月后就能上班了 |
It's fine, okay? It wasn't cancer or anything. |
还好吧 反正不是癌症之类的大病 |
It was right in the front. Really easy to take out. |
肿瘤就在脑门上 很简单地就摘掉了 |
Someone even said, "This is, like, |
他们甚至说 |
the best possible brain tumor" |
"这简直是最好摘除的肿瘤了" |
And I'm not bragging. |
我没骗你们 |
You know what? They didn't even have to shave my head. |
你相信吗 他们甚至都不用给我剃头发 |
What they did is, like, |
他们只是 |
they sucked it out through my nose with, like, a straw... |
用一个吸管...一个医疗用的吸管 |
like, a medical straw. |
把那东西从我鼻子里吸出来 |
Did you think you were gonna die or anything? |
你当时有什么感觉 是不是要死了 |
No, not really. Not, like, seriously. |
不 没那么夸张 |
- Not even when they first told you?- No. |
- 你刚知道时都不害怕吗- 不害怕 |
It was my ear, nose, and throat doctor who found it. |
当时是我的耳鼻喉医生发现肿瘤的 |
When he called me, he was like, |
他打电话告诉我说 |
"There's this thing on your MRI. |
"我在你的磁共振图像上发现了一个肿瘤 |
95% of the time, they're benign. |
它们在95%的时间里 都是良性的 |
I'm gonna put you together with a brain surgeon." |
我会给你介绍一个脑外科医生" |
Actually, he just texted me earlier... |
实际上 我刚刚才和那个脑外科医生 |
the brain surgeon. |
发短讯聊天 |
- What? Why?- I don't know. |
- 什么 为什么啊- 我也不知道 |
I guess we're sort of friends now. |
我感觉我们也算是萍水相逢了 |
He wants me to set him up with someone. |
他想让我把他介绍给别人 |
It does seem fast to be back on your feet |
你手术后恢复的 |
after brain surgery. |
可真是快 |
Right. Yeah, that's what I think. |
是啊 我也是这么认为的 |
Wait. Your brain surgeon |
等等 你的脑外科医生刚刚 |
just texted you to hook him up? |
发短信让你给他介绍女生吗 |
That's weird, right? |
这很奇怪啊 对吧 |
And I don't wanna set people up anymore, okay? |
而我不想再做什么媒人了 |
- I hate it. - Why doesn't he just date you? |
- 我讨厌那样- 那他为什么没有约你 |
I mean, you're single. |
你可是单身啊 |
What's your problem? What are you doing? |
你怎么了 到底在干啥 |
What? |
怎么了 |
Oh, my God. Jeff's on Tinder? |
天呐 杰夫居然用陌陌约炮 |
What? Oh, no. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. |
什么 卧糟 很遗憾啦 |
- That's shit.- You husband is on Tinder? |
- 真是日了狗了- 你老公用陌陌约炮吗 |
- Joy, no offense. Don't comment. - Sorry. |
- 乔伊 无意冒犯 但请别说话- 对不起 |
- What are you doing? - I'm calling Jeff. |
- 你在干嘛- 给杰夫打电话 |
- No, don't! Don't! - No! |
- 不 别啊- 不 |
Enough with this shit, Sunny! |
你够了 珊妮 |
Honey, I can't. |
亲爱的 我不能坐视不管 |
You can't... It's my life. |
你不能... 但这是我的人生 |
It's hard to watch. I love you. |
我爱你 我看不下去你这样 |
You think it's harder to watch than it is to be living it? |
你觉得你看不下去 我又过得下去吗 |
Yeah, it might be. |
可能吧 |
That's just mean. |
这可真残忍 |
I know. |
我知道 |
And that's all I have for you right now. |
但我只能为你做这么多 |
I don't know know what to say. |
我不知道该说什么 |
Jesus Christ, I hate him so much. |
天啊 我真讨厌他 |
I just feel like... |
我只是想... |
Okay, you got out of yours. But I... |
你是离婚了 可我... |
Not everybody's ready when you want them to be ready. |
不是所有事都能心想事成的 |
You're right. |
你说得对 |
Sorry. I'm really... |
抱歉 我真的... |
I'm sorry. |
我很抱歉 |
Sorry. |
对不起 |
Lunches are ready! |
午餐做好了 |