Tuesday with Merrio | 2018-04-22

书结

图片发自简书App

生命也是如此短小稀少啊！而人的不幸却在于那颗永远渴切不止的有所索求，有所跃动，有所未足的心。

以前自己写作文常引用的洗星海一句话：每个人在他生活中都经历过不幸和痛苦。有些人在苦难中只想到自己，他就悲观消极发出绝望的哀号；有些人在苦难中还想到别人，想到集体，想到祖先和子孙，想到祖国和全人类，他就得到乐观和自信。”

书中Merrio便是在疾病中想到朋友、他人、子女，而得到乐观和自信。

# Tuesday #

In fact, Tuesday had always been our day together. Most of my courses with Morrie were on Tuesdays, he had office hours on Tuesdays, and when I wrote my senior thesis which was pretty much Morrie's suggestion, right from the start–it was on Tuesdays that we sat together, by his desk, or in the cafeteria, or on the steps of Pearlman Hall, going over the work .

《相约星期二》是作者Mitch Albom 和亦师亦友的老者Merrio之间，为期十四周的周二座谈会。

# An old man #

① He had SLE, walked that final bridge between life and death, and narrated the trip.

② He told his friends that if they really wanted to help him, they would treat him not with sympathy but with visits, phone calls, a sharing of their problems.

③ He said that death should not be embarrassing; he was not about to powder its nose.

④ He was going to live–or at least try to live–the way he want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with com posure.

⑤ His principals: Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do”; “Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it”; “Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others”; “Don't assume that it's too late to get involved

⑥He learned from disease——The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Love is the only rational act.

作为学者，作为老师，作为长辈，患有肌萎缩性侧索硬化症的老者莫里，在病榻的十四周，践行自己的碑文——一位终身教师。这位老人患病后的日常和人生分享，平淡文字中收获些许人生心得，亦深觉健康活着乃叨天大幸。幸福。

死亡——人生中有那么多的意外出现，死亡的几率非常高，当看到自己仍然活着，而别人已经倒下时，就应该为活着而开心，不应该再抱任何幻想。——蒙田

# Young Men #

病榻十四周老先生莫里给年轻人上的十四节课。

1: Enjoy the World

Look at life uniquely and enjoy it.

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Love is the only rational act .

2: Cry for Sorry

Give yourself a good cry if you feeling sorry for yourself. And then concentrate on all the good things still in your life.

3: Standing back for Regrets

Get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying.

Because the culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die.

You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won't just happen automatically

4: Prepare for Death

To know you're going to die, and to be prepared for it at any time.

Most of us all walk around as if we're sleepwalking. We really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.

We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don't satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.

如何对死亡进行思考：

Do what the Buddhists do——Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, 'Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?

The truth is once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

我们无法预知风雨的早晚和强烈程度，是否会如同Merrio那般“不幸”，而最好不过便是想明白如何死而决定如何活，不错过。今天，是今生到此最后一天，心存感恩和敬畏的生活。

You strip away all that stuff and you focus on the essentials. When you realize you are going to die, you see everything much differently.

5: Love and Responsibility of Family

① Love each other. Without love, we are birds with broken wings.

② Spiritual security——knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame.

家，是爱和安全感的地方，无论是亲情还是爱情，皆是“同在”的缘分。自己健康恰当镶嵌在这时空，无疑是叨天大幸。对于疾病中的Merrio顽强的存活意志也来于自己对孩子的爱，给他们具有安全感家的责任和义务。而一个完整的人承担责任，并且学习如何去爱，就要抚育孩子。

6:Learn to Detach Emotions

Don't cling to things, because everything is im permanent.

Allow yourself to go all the way through them, don't hold back on the emotions——or else, you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid.

Throwing yourself into these emotions, you experience them fully and completely. You recognize that emotion. Then you need to detach from that emotion for a moment.

面对恐怖、焦虑、不安等情绪时，内心不要回避而是正视，正确认知这种情绪并投身其中，而后从中抽离，坦然面对。

7: Embrace Aging

Merrio并不担心衰老，亦认为年轻是件悲伤的事。年轻人不够明智，对于生活知之甚少，要掉坑走弯路。而年老不是衰败，而是一种成长。

Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it .

衰老年长，如我们担忧，而能做并不是修仙炼丹求不老，而是追本溯源——Unfulfilled lives。因未找到人生意义而想推倒重来渴求年轻。

All younger people should know something. If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow part of me is every age.

世事变化再多，也不过是在重复历史而已。你的愿望、抱负不是靠时间来实现，世界不是实现愿望的大工厂。与其期待不虚妄的再次年轻，不如始于现在，一切未晚。

8: Devote yourself

The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.

You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.

Devote yourself to loving others, to your community around you, and to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

The truth is, you get satisfaction not from money but from offering others what you have to give.

9: Love Goes On life

Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.

People haven't found meaning in their lives, so they're running all the time looking for it. The truth is, I don't have to be in that much of a hurry with my car. I would rather put my energies into people.

爱是生命的延续，生活最重要的事情便是学会如何给予爱，和如何接受爱。

10: Marriage

Friends are great, but friends are not going to be here on a night when you're coughing and can't sleep and someone has to sit up all night with you, comfort you, try to be helpful.”

Your values must be alike. Your belief in the importance of your marriage. Marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it.

Love each other or perish

11: Determine for yourself

People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god.

But the big things—how we think, what we value —those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone or any society determine those for you.

12: Forgive yourself, Forgive others.

Forgive ourselves——For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am .

Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.

13: Find perfection in such an average day

I'd get up in the morning, do my exercises, have a lovely breakfast of sweet rolls and tea, go for a swim, then have my friends come over for a nice lunch. I'd have them come one or two at a time so we could talk about their families, their issues, talk about how much we mean to each ot her. Then.....

莫里先生平常一天的平淡生活却定义为完美。

If we know, in the end, that we can ultimately have that peace with dying, then we can finally do the really hard thing——make peace with living

14: Say Good-bye

There is no such thing as "too late" in life. He was changing until the day he said good-bye.

过属于自己的人生，有所爱有所恨，有所付出和收获，尽自己所能做好一切，最后潇洒无悔说再见。

我们一步一步走下去，踏踏实实地去走，永不抗拒生命交给我们的重负，才是一个勇者。到了蓦然回首的那一瞬间，生命必然给我们公平的答案和又一次乍喜的心情，那时的山和水，又回复了是山是水，而人生已然走过，是多么美好的一个秋天。——三毛

# For me——死亡&感恩 #

人是要活很多年才知道感恩的，才知道万事万物包括投眼而来的翠色，附耳而至的清风，无一不是豪华的天宠。才知道生命中的每一刹那都是向永恒借来的片羽，才相信胸襟中的每一缕柔情都是无限天机所流泻的微光。——张晓风

小小一本书，读完偶想说 “所谓幸福，就是活着，就是在盛暑苦热的日子喝一杯甘洌心脾的酸梅汤。”庆幸，幸运，幸福，感谢。