A boy once asked his parents: How could he be qualified to protect someone.

“ To be grown up.”

He started pursuing, pursuing the magic word, mature, which is, the word that he could dedicate his whole life in.

But he didn’t know, what was called “mature”.

He admired his brother, who was always be silent, and calm. He once thought that was mature, and he started imitate his brother. Even he became less-talking, his world had never changed, but his parents became worried about him, worrying if it was them that changed the lively and naughty boy to be introvert.But the only thing that the boy wanted, was to be grown up, so that he could be qualified as a protector.

As if he was running in the night sky, even stars shining in the sky, he cannot find the way, the way that leads him to be mature.

He wanted to find the answer with the aim of others.

He came to ask his father, “ to be tolerant, kind to everyone surround you, accept their opinion even you don’t think in the same way. And to think for others. That is what mature is.” His father said, and this became the only way for the boy to find that.

He tried not to be outrageous with the disagreement with others.

He tried to understand what others were thinking, plugging himself into the condition of others, to find why, people do things in that way.

He also tried to sacrifice his own benefit, and the only thing he wanted back was the smile of others.

But the only thing he cannot bear, was a total denying of his “mature”. And sometimes, he can’t do that.

When his was forced to give his cake to others, even he tried, but when he was thinking about that he couldn’t taste the cake, he give it to others unwillingly.

When one of his friend betrayed him, he told himself that he must have his reasons, and it was his fault that he couldn’t get on well with his friends. But actually he was too outrageous that he came to give him a beating.

He couldn’t leave the position which he fought for a long time to others, being aware of that others have tried their best.

He found that even for him, the way to be mature was to think for others, and sacrifice himself for others, he couldn’t do it. His body was not meek, and not controllable by his mind. He found that he was too far away from his “mature”.

He started doubting, doubting that his father was wrong, doubting that the so called “grown up” was not what he said.

He was puzzled, even he wanted himself to cater others, to sacrifice himself for others, sometimes he couldn’t do it, and someone others always laughed at him.

The last spring, when his uncle punished his sister, who, in his mind, was a prominent girl, who acted thinking for others, and who, was the one that the boy always admired. His uncle said that she was not grown up.

His uncle said, she was always thinking too much for others, and for her own life, she almost messed it up.

The boy suddenly became angry, he didn’t know why, helping others, thinking for others could be regarded to be immature?

And also, he didn’t know why he became angry.

That night, the boy was having a party with his cousin, and his brother in law, they discussed their scarcity.

He found that not only his uncle, but everyone, was warning his sister to think for herself.

He was further confused.

Maybe, helping others, trying to think for others, was not what is called “grown up”.

But the boy didn’t wanted to admit that he was defeated. It reminded him how proud he was to himself, when he sacrifice his own profit to help someone else, reminded him how excited when he swore to dedicate his life to protect someone who he loves, and reminded him that virtue was the ultimate good for human beings.

He became angry, angry enough that his rationality, his mind couldn’t control himself, he stood up, lifted the wine glass, then heavily smashed it to the desk. He was so proud of himself at that time, even he ruined the annual party of his family, but he had defended his “ mature”, which was the virtue of the boy, and which was what his admired sister have.

The wise old man came to him, waking him up, asking him to think about why, why even he knew sacrifice himself to cater others could bring him happiness, he couldn’t do it. And why, everyone think only for themselves, and why those who tried to engage on their virtue to think  for others were regarded as freak, even in the text book thinking for others are virtues.

The old man gave him a weird dream, both of his friend was kidnapped by a bunch of criminals. His friend figured out a way to escape, that they could run out of the dark house from the chimney, but one of them must send another one to the roof, and another one drag him to the top. The boy, of course, choose to be the former one, for the one goes the first have a better opportunity to run. He believed his friend that he tried his best to send his friend to the roof of the building, waiting for him to drag him out.

However the boy was betrayed. His friend directly ran away from the building, leave himself alone in the dark small room. The criminals figured our their plan of escaping, rushed into the room, watching the boy staying alone. The boy, stayed their silently. He didn’t know what he could do, but he instinctively fought against them, preventing the criminals to pursue the betrayer. His blood covered his eye little by little, and he was laughed by the criminals.

He waked up, scared by what happened in the dream. He realized that everyone was born to be selfish.

But he didn’t regret that he decided to be the one in the bottom, and his heart was always warm.

For at last the boy realized that the so called virtue is to reverse humanity, not to be selfish, but think for others.

“ One soul sacrificed to save another one, that is a fair deal.” He mumbled to himself.

有一次，一个男孩问他的父母：他怎么才能有资格保护别人呢？

“变得成熟。”他的父母回答道

他开始追求，追求这个神奇的词语，成熟，可以说是他倾尽一身也要达到的境界。

但他不知道，什么是所谓的“成熟”。

他钦佩他的哥哥，他总是沉默而镇静。他一度认为沉默寡言就是成熟的象征，开始模仿他的哥哥。但即使他变得少已说话，他的世界仍然没有改变，但他的父母却开始担心他，担心是不是他们，把这个活泼淘气的男孩变成一个内向的人，但男孩唯一想要的只是变得成熟，这样他才能成为一个合格的人。 一个保护者。

他如同在夜晚奔跑一半，甚至星星在天上闪光，他也找不到路，找不到那个能让他变得成熟的路。

他想找到答案，通过他人的帮助。

他跑去问他的父亲，如何才能变得成熟，“宽容，善待身边的每一个人，接受他们的意见，即使你不以同样的方式思考。为别人思考。这就是成熟。”父亲说 ，这成为男孩发现的唯一通往成熟的途径。

他尝试着不因与别人的分歧而愤怒。

他试图了解别人的思维，将自己代入到他人的处境中，找到人们做这种事情的原因。

他也尝试着，牺牲自己的利益，别人的笑脸，就成为了他前进的动力。

而有时，他却无法做到。

当他被迫他的把蛋糕给别人，即使他努力的说服自己要为他人着想，但是当他想到他不能品尝蛋糕的美味时，他只能很不情愿的伸出手。

当他的一个朋友背叛了他，他告诉自己，他也有他的理由，这是自己的错，因为他不能与他的朋友相处得很好。但他却很是气愤，而跑去揍了一顿那个背叛者。

他不能放弃他奋斗已久得到的成绩，将胜利的宝座让给其他人，即使他意识到其他人也尽力了。

他发现，即使对他来说，是成熟的方式是为他人着想，为他人而牺牲自己，他却做不到。他的身体并不服从意识的指令。他发现他 离他的“成熟”渐行渐远。

他开始怀疑，怀疑他的父亲是错的，怀疑所谓的“成熟”并不是他所说的那样。

他感到困惑，即使他想迎合别人，为别人牺牲自己，有时他做不到，而别人也总是嘲笑他。他更加无法承受，他所追求的成熟被人全盘否定。

在他的心目中他的姐姐一直是一个杰出的女孩子，为他人着想，而从未想过自己的生活。

去年春天， 他得舅舅却责骂她，说她总是为别人想得太多，而对她自己的生活， 她却从不关心， 也从无计划。

男孩突然生气了，他不知道为什么，帮助他人，为他人着想的美德，为什么会被作为“长不大”的理由而被责骂？

而他，也不知道生气的理由。

那天晚上，他和他的兄弟姐妹聚会，他们讨论了他们身上彼此的优点与缺点。

他发现不仅是他的叔叔，而且每个人都在告诫他的姐姐自己思考。

他更加无法理解。

也许，帮助别人，为别人思考，并不是所谓的“成熟”。

但男孩不想承认他被击败了。这让他想起了，当他牺牲自己的利益去帮助别人，他是多么的自豪；当他发誓要倾尽全力来保护自己所爱的人时，他是多么的兴奋；他想起了，美德才是人们所要穷尽一生追求的东西。

他丧失了他的理智，他变得无法控制自己，他站起来，举起酒杯，然后重重地砸在桌子上。虽然他毁了家人的年会，但他当时却为自己冲动的行为感到自豪，因为他正在为自己的所谓的，也是他所钦佩的姐姐所拥有“成熟”辩护，就如同苏格拉底为自己的信仰而死一般。

那位智慧的老人走到他跟前，叫醒他，询问他为什么，即使他知道牺牲自己来迎合别人能带给自己幸福，但他做不到。为什么每个人都只为自己的利益而考虑，为什么那些试图宣扬自己的美德，而去为别人思考的人被认为是怪胎。

老人给了他一个奇怪的梦，他的两个朋友都被一群罪犯绑架了。他的朋友想出了一个逃跑的办法，他们可以从烟囱里跑出黑暗的房子，但是 他们中的一个必须将另一个推到屋顶，而另一个把他拖到顶端。当然，这个男孩选择成为前者，因为前者会有更好的机会逃跑。他相信着他的朋友，尽力地把他的朋友到房顶，等待着他的朋友把将他拖到屋顶。

然而，男孩却被出卖。他的朋友直接从大楼里跑了出去，而他只能独自一人呆在昏暗的小房间里。罪犯解开了他们的逃跑计划，冲进房间，却只剩一个男孩独自呆着那里。他不知道他能做什么，但他本能地他们，阻止这些罪犯追那个背叛者。他浑身是血 他的眼睛渐渐地被血覆盖，他能感受到的，只有那些罪犯对他的嘲笑。

他醒了，对梦中发生的一切恐惧着。他意识到，每个人生来都是自私的。

但他并不后悔他做出的决定，而他的心始终是温暖的。

最后他意识到所谓的美德即是背弃所谓的人性，将人生来所具有的自私抛至身后，而为别人考虑，为别人着想。

“一个灵魂的牺牲来拯救另一个灵魂，这是一个公平的交易。”他喃喃自语道。

注释

本文用很笨拙的方法，抒发了在读完囚徒困境悖论之后对人性的思考，也抒发了作者本人对所谓的美德的见解。