Part2 Chapter8&9 2017.3.31
Winston终于和O'Brein见面了,但Winston并没有表现出我所期待的那样谨慎和自信,一方面,他对O'Brein的所有期望都是自己揣摩出来的,他没有切实的证据去证明O'Brein的身份,也许正因为如此,所以当他到达O'Brein的住所时,Winston并没有那么的自信;他在真正了解O'Brein之前,就毫无保留地把自己的想法暴露出来了,这一点看起来太过冒险。
When he spoke of murder, suicide, venereal disease, amputated limbs, and altered faces, it was with a faint air of persiflage.这句话总觉得Winston在怀疑着什么,他心里应该也是没底的吧,然而这是一条不归路,在恍恍惚惚中他带着些许的勇气开始了,而一旦开始就容不得自己再去重新看待这个人和这件事了,即时意识到自己可能判断失误了,也还是要跪着走下去,毕竟也只能跪着走下去了。
You will never have anything to sustain you, except the idea. You will get no comradeship and no encouragement. When finally you are caught, you will get no help. We never help our members. At most, when it is absolutely necessary that someone should be silenced, we are occasionally able to smuggle a razor blade into a prisoner's cell. You will have to get used to living without results and without hope. Youwill work for a while, you will be caught, you will confess, and then you will die. Those are the only results that you will ever see. There is no possibility that any perceptible change will happen within our own lifetime. We are the dead. 这里读起来总觉得怪怪的,如果说他们根本没有什么组织,只是靠一些信念来进行革命事业的话,那未免太过散漫,这样的话能做成什么事呢?如果说他们就像当年的中共地下党一样,那为何在同伴有难时却不会去解救呢?能不能救是一回事,能不能解救出来也是一回事,但连解救的想法都没有这就让人纳闷了,那不就是摆明着让大家都去送气嘛,与其这样要这样一个"无组织的组织"有何用,不如自己自挂东南枝算了!
我无法理解Winston是怎么想的,也许是我想太多了,也许他在那样的环境下病急乱投医了,那种心情我不能感同身受,所以做出来的判断和选择也是不一样的,但我还是觉得这两章里Winston的脑子可能进了一点水……