What is love? Five theories on the greatest emotion of all
来源:https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/dec/13/what-is-love-five-theories
"What is love" was the most searched phrase on Google in 2012, according to the company.In an attempt to get to the bottom of the question once and for all, the Guardian has gathered writers from the fields of science,psychotherapy, literature, religion andphilosophyto give their definition of themuch-ponderedword.
The physicist: 'Love is chemistry'
Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. But then, that is not so surprising since love is basically chemistry. While lust is a temporary passionate sexual desire involving the increased release of chemicals such astestosteroneandoestrogen, in true love, or attachment andbonding, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals:pheromones,dopamine,norepinephrine,serotonin,oxytocinandvasopressin.However, from an evolutionary perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool– amechanismwe have evolved to promote long-term relationships,mutualdefence andparentalsupport of children and to promote feelings of safety and security.
• Jim Al-Khalili is a theoretical physicist and science writer
The psychotherapist: 'Love has manyguises'
Unlike us, the ancients did notlumpall the various emotions that we label "love" under the one word. They had severalvariations, including:
Philiawhich they saw as a deep but usually non-sexualintimacybetween close friends and family members or as a deep bondforgedby soldiers as they fought alongside each other in battle.Ludusdescribes a more playful affection found infoolingaround orflirting.Pragmais the mature love that develops over a long period of time between long-term couples and involves actively practising goodwill,commitment,compromiseand understanding.Agapeis a more generalised love, it's not about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity.Philautiais self love, which isn't as selfish as it sounds. AsAristotlediscovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself. Last, and probably least even though it causes the most trouble,erosis about sexual passion and desire. Unless it morphs into philia and/or pragma, eros willburn itself out.
burn itself out 消失
Love is all of the above. But is it possibly unrealistic to expect to experience all six types with only one person. This is why family and community are important.
• Philippa Perry is a psychotherapist and author of Couch Fiction
The philosopher: 'Love is a passionate commitment'
The answer remainselusivein part because love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbour, God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants – blind, one-sided,tragic,steadfast,fickle,reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that wenurtureand develop, even though it usually arrives in our livesunbidden. That's why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mereinfatuation. Without the passion, it is merededication. Without nurturing, even the best canwitherand die.
• Julian Baggini is a philosopher and writer
The romantic novelist: 'Love drives all great stories'
What love is depends on where you are in relation to it.Secure init, it can feel asmundaneand necessary as air – you exist within it, almost unnoticing.Deprivedof it, it can feel like anobsession; all consuming, a physical pain. Love is the driver for all great stories: not just romantic love, but the love of parent for child, for family, for country.It is the point beforeconsummationof it thatfascinates: what separates you from love, the obstacles that stand in its way.It is usually at those points that love is everything.
• Jojo Moyes is a two-time winner of the Romantic Novel of the Year award
The nun: 'Love is free yet binds us'
Love is more easily experienced than defined. As a theological virtue, by which we love God above all things and our neighbours as ourselves for hissake, it seems remote until we encounter itenfleshed, so to say, in the life of another – in acts of kindness,generosityand self-sacrifice. Love's the one thing that can never hurt anyone, although it may cost dearly. The paradox of love is that it issupremelyfree yet attaches us withbondsstronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life's greatest blessing.
• Catherine Wybourne is a Benedictine nun
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