Connections, to be specific, building connections in this world, point by point, part by part, discovering every new area that I didn't landed before, building a map designed by my heart. This, is the meaning of my life. At least, is what I made as my faith of living at this moment.
When I ask myself, why keep staying at this position, doing a job I don't like, the primary reason I gave myself was for connections, I have interest in this field, the knowledge and resources I can access through this job surpasses the other bloody hell sufferings it brings. And there's other reason, it keep me staying in this city, a city that someone I cared about lives in, and there comes other less convincing reasons, for appreciation, for being unable to say no to others, for it's the easiest choice.
When I read about the story of a teacher quit her job and leave a few words expressing her feeling of I want to know more about the world as resignation letter, I can totally understand her decision. Because I'm doing the same thing in an opposite way, keeping this job to nail my timber pile of connection in this industry, a slice of map of where I'm standing in, a field I'm curious about at this period.
To explain more about what this "connection" concept that have been spinning around my mind recently means to me, is that I feel all the time we spend in life, from birth to death, is a process of building connections to the world we live in.
To be continued.