我们的身体要比语言诚实得多。只要用心去看，任何细枝末节都能被发现。评估人的肢体语言前，先需要记住最重要的一点——每个人都有他的“基本行为”，因此，需要将当时的情境考虑在内。我们可能认为双手交叉是没有安全感的表现，但有时它只表明这个人感觉很冷。在从整体上分析情况后，才可以得出正确的结论。

Handshake

握手

The way a person shakes hands can help us make our first impression of them.

一个人握手的方式可以帮助我们对其做初步的了解。

Humble — the palm facing up:

谦恭型——手掌朝上

Dominating — the palm facing down;

主导型——手掌朝下

Neutral — the hands of both people are in the same position.

平等型——双方手掌在同一高度。 

Watch how a new person gives you their hand and what they do. If a person has the dominating type of handshake, they are very unlikely to take someone else's opinion into account and will probably wait for you to agree. A humble or a neutral handshake is more preferable if you are going to discuss difficult topics or if you need to convince a person of something.

观察刚认识的人是以什么姿态伸出手以及如何握手的。如果一个人的握手方式为主导型，他们就不太可能考虑别人的意见，很可能在等着你妥协。如果你要讨论一些棘手的话题，或者要说服某人什么事，谦恭或平等的握手方式更可取。

Smile

笑

Watch how a person smiles. After a quick overview, it will be easy for you to tell the difference between a fake smile and a real one because different groups of muscles are responsible for them:

观察一个人是如何微笑的。快速扫一眼后，就能很容易分辨出假笑和真笑，因为这两种行为需要借助不同的肌肉群。

Sincere smile — risorius muscles are used. They pull the lip corners up, there are wrinkles around the eyes; the skin under the brow may go down just a little;

真笑动用肌肉——笑肌。特征：嘴角上扬，眼睛周围有皱纹；眉毛下皮肤轻微下垂。

Fake smile — the so-called laughter muscles are used, they move the lip corners away from each other; the upper part of the face does not move.

假笑动用肌肉—— 笑声肌。特征：嘴角两端分开；脸的上半部僵硬。

Watch their hands

手告诉我们什么

Closed hand positions almost always indicate anxiety or a bad mood:

握着的手几乎总是表示焦虑或坏心情：

Clenched fists，hands together.

两手握拳，两手相握。

The same goes for a situation where a person is holding a small object with both hands.

双手拿着一件小物体也是同样的情况。

In any case, when a person holds their hands together, it means it will be very hard to reach an agreement with them.

总之，当一个人双手握在一起时，意味着很难与他们达成一致意见。

Look at their palms

手掌的秘密

A palm on their own forearm is a signal that a person is trying to hold in their negative emotions. This is a subconscious effort to calm down and stabilize their mood.

手掌放在前臂上，通常表示这个人在试图控制自己的负面情绪。他们在做这种潜意识的努力，以稳定自己的情绪，镇定下来。

Pay attention to their thumbs: In a “closed position,” you can't see them, or they are placed parallel to the ground. However, if you notice that a hand is around the arm and the thumb is facing up, this is a confident person who rarely loses self-control.

注意他们的拇指：通常处于“闭合状态”，我们看不到他们的拇指，或者其拇指位置与地面平行。然而，如果你注意到某人的一只手放在另一只手的手臂上，大拇指朝上，表示这个人很自信，这种人有很强的自控能力。

Hands down, with palms are together — means the person is stressed. Remember how safe you felt as a child walking with your mom, holding her hand. Children grow up but their reflexes don't go away.

手下垂，掌心相合，意味着这个人感受到了压力。想想当你还是个孩子时，牵着妈妈的手和她一起散步是多么有安全感。孩子会长大，但这种习惯性反应不会消失。

Hands on the knees, moving — means it's time to finish the conversation.

双手在膝盖上移动——意味着该结束对话了。

Experts call this behavior “seated readiness.” People start moving in order to avoid the conversation and they feel super uncomfortable in that moment.

专家称这种行为是“入座准备”。人们开始移动身体是为了避免谈话继续，同时，这段对话让他们感到非常不舒服。

The position of their hands

手的位置的奥秘

When we put our hands behind our back, at a subconscious level, we show the vulnerable parts of our body. A person will do this gesture only if they are absolutely confident in the moment or if they feel superior. Most likely, they have nothing to hide and they are completely honest with you (because even a little lie makes people feel stressed).

当我们下意识地把手背在后面时，我们展示了自己身体脆弱的部分。一个人只有在非常自信或感到优越时，才会做这个动作。大概是他们没什么好隐藏的，且对你完全真诚（因为即使一个小小的谎言，也会让人有压力）。

Try: Take this position when you are uncomfortable and try to use it to feel better. This position will make you feel more confident.

下次感觉不自在时，可以尝试做这个姿势，看看是否会感觉好一些。这个姿势会让你更自信。

Estimate their stress level

压力级别评估

Small moves, like fixing hair, and other little things indicate a worried and anxious person.

像整理头发这样的小举动都表明一个人很焦虑。

Men often touch their faces，women touch their necks, clothes, and hair.

男人经常会摸自己的脸，女人会摸她们的脖子、衣服和头发。

These actions help them stabilize their heart rate and calm down.

这些动作能帮助他们稳定心率，平静下来。

By the way: Playing with a pencil, whistling, and moving legs are indicators of the same thing. Start talking about something positive if you notice that a person is starting to get stressed.

另外，玩铅笔、吹口哨和抖腿也都同样。如果你注意到对方有压力，可以试着跟他们谈论一些积极的事情。

Look at the person's posture

站姿

Legs wide open: The person is trying to find some base for confidence. This means there is something that makes them uncomfortable. And the bigger the distance between the legs, the more worried they are.

双腿分开：表示此人正在试图找到一点平衡感来增加自信。这意味着场景中有让他们感到不舒服的事情。双腿之间距离越大，就表示他们越焦虑。

Legs crossed: The opposite position. It is difficult to stand, so in case of possible danger, there will not be much this person will be able to do. This means they are not thinking about any danger at that moment and they are feeling comfortable and calm.

双腿交叉：与前面相反的姿势。这种站姿不容易站，当存在潜在危险时，人不太可能这样站。因此，这意味着这样站着的人在那一刻没考虑会有任何危险，他们感觉很自在、平静。

Besides, always pay attention to the feet.

此外，一定要注意脚部动作。

The heel's on the ground, and the tip is up: This person is in a good mood. Maybe, they have just heard something nice. They may keep silent, but their feet give them away.

脚后跟着地，鞋尖朝上：意味着这个人心情很好。他可能刚刚听到什么好消息，虽然嘴上没说什么，但是脚已经出卖了他。

The heel up and the tip on the ground stance is a signal that a person is preparing for some action. Maybe, they are going to leave, change the subject, and they are ready to do it. Or, they are thinking about whether they should lie to you or tell you the truth, and it is most likely they are leaning toward the former (because telling lies always requires more emotional effort).

脚后跟抬起，脚尖着地的姿势是准备起身的信号。也许他们想要离开，换个话题，他们已经准备这么做啦。或者，他们在考虑是该对你说谎还是该告诉你真相，而且他们更可能倾向于前者（因为说谎总需要更多心理上的挣扎）。