This is a little poor pure boy, who used to think something's stupid, yet ends up witnessing himself being stupid.
Let's see what he has to say.
Nothing's gonna change my feel for you.
It gently emerged, little by little, as if no other relevant people existed.
THE FEEL was so strange that, at first, you were a normal girl. Not THAT normal, as I could clearly recognize you, tell you from other girls, know your REN ZHEN DE attitude towards work and knowledge, like your work related questions to me every now and then, and your face and your body, yet generally normal.
I had few connections to you back then. Work not related, partners not me, teachers not me, no relations at all. Soon, I moved to this team, and began to have some relations with you and your fellow colleagues, not in a very loveable way, though.
I spoke few, said few, smiled few, joked few, trained few, performed few, acted few, thought few, participated few, led few, hosted few, organized few, told few.
Then, maybe in God's help, we started to connect, considerably.
I started to see your method of thought.
Some methods I did not see the same way, or I thought there may be other better ways, but I remained silent sometimes, as before.
Well, later on, with more interactions and cooperations, I began to find the simple and pureness in you, the good simple and good pureness in my eyes. And I would talk to you, with you, or against you more and more and more, to work things out, together. 'Cause I like this simple and pureness. 'Cause I rarely find this simple and pureness in other people. 'Cause this simple and pureness reminded me of myself, of my dream, of my fantasy.
And, I began to obsess your smiles, no matter in what way.
Then I spoke more, said more, smiled more, joked more, trained more, performed more, acted more, thought more, participated more, led more, hosted more, organized more, told more.
And write more.
I started to open my eyes, mouth and heart to live more honestly. I cared about more and more things, relating to you, without hesitation, without second thought, without feeling tired.
Stupid as I was, I began to realize my stupidity, still.
I created a box I can't close, a puzzle I can't solve, a song I can't sing, a horse I can't ride, a moon I can't hug, a mountain I can't climb, a book I can't finish, a poet I can't read, a mirror I can't look into, a car I can't drive, a forum I can't host, a drama I can't perform, a joke I can't laugh, a breath I can't kiss. A girl I can't be with.
What happened then, I remembered, but I did not write.
Luckily, I am not thoroughly stupid. I endeavor to cherish what left can be cherished, in a cherishable way.
I cease to FUCK-MY-HEART, although FUCK-MY-HEART is what I am really good at, and what is hardly to get rid of.
I wrote something to you to expose myself, not to cause more confusion. And I think I did it, to some extent. 'Cause I could not possibly see through you, or see through myself, or travel to the future and come back with a solution or sword.
So, I will make every last effort to be a good boy, to be good with you. And hope you will be good, too.
Hey, When I was finding my way home the other day, I glimpsed a poster which says ''HELP EACH OTHER AND UP UP TOGETHER!''
Funny, huh?
So I wrote it down for your smile.
ha~ha~
Above is a story. A story I was told when I was very young. I know this little poor pure boy, and he told me this very story.
I love this story, 'cause it would remind me of some beautiful thing, like forever.
