I always wonder that why when I was a little girl, I seem to have so many friends that I never feel lonely, however, when I get married one day, I only have one bridesmaid, then where are my other companies? Do they choose to leave me, or I myself lost them?
Maybe only one person in the world can thoroughly understand me, who is me myself . As far as I am concerned, childhood is the happiest time in a person's life. In that period of time, we can be friends with anybody. Or we can say that a kid's friendship is made of a castle, which is casted by various candies. I mean that a lollipop can tie two unfamiliar children to friends. Certainly, we will quarrel with each other, but we do not afraid of lost at all, as that never happens. Just few minutes later, we will be together again and it seems that nothing unpleasant has happened just now.
When we gradually get older, things seem to get changed. Although the castle is still made of candies, but there has built up a fence around the castle, which means we no longer allow other people come close to us too easy. We have thought it should be a good way to protect us from being hurt; however, we have hurt others then, because no one can endure the distrust from a friend. During this period of time, if we have arguments with each other, we start to refuse to be the first one to break the ice. For no special reason, just to make sure I am important in your heart. However, our stubborn is ruining our friendship little by little.
As time passes, the material of glass begins to replace the candies. It seems that we know each other so clearly, but we do cannot enter his or her heart. What we can do is just to observe what he or she feels and thinks about, but we cannot do anything else.
Not long after, we decorate our windows with paper-cutting, which means that we learn to pretend. For self-protection, we have so many masks that we even do not know which one is the true self. We do have leart more and more social techniques, but we have fewer and fewer friends. Because we are all afraid of being hurt, so we cannot help over protecting ourselves or even harming others. There are no villains, only victims.
Someone has told me that life is a journey, a lonely journey, as you yourself is the only one who can company with you all your life. In the train of life, when it gets a site, it means that there is someone needs to get out; at the same time, some new passengers will appear in your life. There is only one thing in common—they will also leave one day left nothing but some scattered memory.
More often than not, there are some familiar thoughts deeply impressed in our minds that to possess is to be happy. Therefore, we are accustomed to constantly speeding up, with the result that we not only forget where we have been, but also where we are going to. To posse a thing that we are longing for, we have already used to holding it too tight that it eventually gets lost little by little, as we no longer believe that the best way to possess love is actually to give it wings, or just because we dare not, as we are too afraid of losing.
There is a fable always pictured in my sight—imagining life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls and you name them: work, family, health, spirits and friends and you keep them in air. Soon you will understand that life is a rubber ball, if you drop, it will bounce back. But the other four balls are made of glass, if you drop one of it; it will be irrevocably marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.
It seems that the more we get along with other people, the lonelier we will feel. But the thing is, solitude is a part of our life, so we have to learn to stay alone. Snuggling in the sofa, put a blanket over us, has a cup of hot coco and tries to think of nothing, just to empty my mind. Solitude may be the best way or even the only way to make communications with our heart. Only when we live within our inner passion—we will never have to seek approval from others—we will be the destiny of ourselves.
